The Post Where I Return and Make TWO Poop References

 I still think about this little corner of the internet. Much more than you would think for someone who hasn't posted in almost 2 years. Lately I've been thinking about it a lot. Maybe because I may actually have something relatively interesting to write about, instead of post after post about how disappointed I am that the Pinterest app on my phone never works, and I am forced to bring the whole laptop to pin from the crapper.

 Maybe.

 The reason is not really important, what's important is that right in the midst of my internal 'to blog or not to blog' struggle I received a sign. Just the other day while enjoying a beautiful day out in the sun with my in-laws, my Father-in-law mentioned that he had checked this blog the other day and since I hadn't updated in so long he had deleted the bookmark on his laptop. The apparent high demand for bookmark space on his laptop has inspired me and I am back. Hopefully he's complimented by that and not extremely offended. Or if he is offended hopefully it turns into a really great story to blog about. Either way.

 So for anyone who was not forced to choose between this site and bookmarking a website on proper manure application (I'm assuming that's what he replaced me with), I hope to have lots of updates shortly including a big (to me) announcement :)

Digging for Treasure

Worried about us?

Want an update?

I just saw Sawyer pick his nose, study his findings and place them safely in his pocket.

This is my life...I'm learning to choose my battles.

Happy Kind Of Birthday Hunny

Today is my dear husband's birthday. Kind of.

I say that because he was born this day in 1981, making him 29 this year. So while today is technically the anniversary of his birth, it seems that this specific birthday's only purpose is to remind his family and friends that his youth is behind him.

Today, and in the days leading up to today my husband's life has been filled with such witty and thought provoking remarks as...

'29 eh? Next year's the BIG ONE'

'Big 3-0 next year, man! It's all down hill from there.'

'29 is really just a place holder for 30 so I'm not getting you anything.'

That last one was me, but if more of you say it to him it might actually fly. And if you're not willing to do that and insist on getting him something... can I sign your card?

So while everyone else is looking towards the saggy future, I want to take a minute to acknowledge what a great, good looking, funny and sweet, YOUNGER wife you have. And I'll still be all those things next year so I guess you're not doing too bad for yourself!

Oh yeah and your kind of the greatest husband and father EVER!! So you've got that going for you too!

HAPPY ALMOST 30TH BIRTHDAY KEV!!! 

At Least I Won't Have to Worry About Him Being a Teenage Father...

Sometimes I think back to my highschool days, when I used to sit around with my girlfriends and list off the many, MANY features our dream men should have. The top of my list then, and to this day is a sense of humour. I think back to those days and those conversations and I think... SHIT.

Here is a conversation I had earlier with my almost 3 year old son.

3 year old: 'Mommy say knock-knock'

Me: 'Knock-knock'

3YO: 'Who's there?'

(alright I'm with you kid)

Me: 'Boo'

3YO: 'Boo WHAT?'

(really?!?!?!)

Me:'Nevermind... why don't you tell me a knock-knock joke?'

3YO:'Ok... Knock-knock'

Me:'Who's there?'

3YO:'Apple'

(ahhh a classic)

Me:'Apple who'

3YO:'Woof woof I'm a puppy'

Maybe it's me? Maybe his sense of humour is just too sophisticated? But I just can not find the co-relation between that apple and the dog.

But maybe that's the joke?

Maybe... but more likely??? It's lucky he's so ridiculasly good looking.

It's My Anniversary and I'll be Snotty If I Want To

As of July 1st 2010 I have been married 4 years. I celebrated this milestone by waking up in an empty house. My husband choose that day and the one before out of all the 365 days in the year to go on a kayaking trip with his father. His logic was that, since I had to work, we wouldn't get to see each other anyway. Plus he would be home in time to take me to dinner and a movie. Sound logic, sir.

But there's one little detail you did not take into consideration.

It's our anniversary so I don't have to succumb to logic. Let the guilt trips begin.

You like apples?

My kids also choose that evening to have a sleepover at Grandma's. Which brings me back to waking up in an empty house.

I spent the entire previous evening curled up in the fetal position, baseball bat in hand, because OBVIOUSLY burglars were going to choose that night to come after my wealth of broken toys and dirty laundry (the only things I have a wealth of). When I finally realized that, that would actually be a good thing (better they pick them up then I) I was able to fall asleep.

The next morning I woke up to lots of blankets, extra pillows and room to sleep in whatever position I so desired. Which I did. Through SEVERAL snooze cycles.

Then I woke up and got ONLY myself ready, just to get in the car and drive straight to work... not 20 mins out of the way (to the sitter's)  and then to work.

So I was going to make Kevin make up for this in a big way on our next anniversary, but instead I think I'll just book him another kayaking trip.

Happy Anniversary Hunny! You look as handsome now as you did on our wedding day! You totally can't even tell you have 2 kids! <3

Life Experiences

Well just yesterday Sawyer attended his second kegger (it was Sean's first awwwwwww). I know that the legal drinking age is 19, but they're going to find a way to do it anyway! So I'd really prefer if I was there to make sure that they're okay.

Naw I'm totally joking. I'm pretty sure 2.5 half is a touch young to be 'boozin' it up' (It's in the parenting manual somewhere). And besides that I've already made up my mind that I will be one of those completely oblivious mothers that doesn't notice the clanging of glass in my son's backpack as he dashes out for a 'study date at the library'.

Not that, that would happen.

My kids are perfect.

Anyways, you probably want to know why my toddlers were at a kegger. That's reasonable. It's because Kevin's cousin just turned 30. So it was a family oriented party

With a keg.

And at least one person trying to drink themselves back in time. (Unsuccessfully I might... Sorry bud, you're still 30)

Oh yeah and the first kegger Sawyer attended?  Well it all started 20 years ago when my in laws decided not to take 'family planning' very seriously and my husband ended up with siblings 9 and 10 years younger then him. So my children were born with a teenage aunt and uncle.

It makes for some interesting life experiences...

Day in the life

3:40AM - My alarm goes off. Since I'm not even sure that's a real time, I hit snooze, hoping that when it goes off again, the clock will say something much more reasonable.. like noon or something.

3:49AM - It doesn't. I get out of bed anyway.

3:50AM - I pee, and check my email. That's right kids, I multi-task at 3:50am. Try not to compare yourself to me, we're all created different and that's not your fault.

3:51-4:25ishAM - I straighten my hair, and ears and whatever else gets in my way while I'm trying to perform this activity half asleep.

4:25-4:35AM - Apply make-up. Yeah it takes me 10 whole mins, but it's worth it... I clean up good ;)

4:35AM - I sniff my jeans to see if I can get another day out of them. It's rare that I can't.

4:36AM - I irritate the piss out of Kevin by bumping into, or stubbing my toe on everything in our bedroom, in an attempt to find my clothes and get dressed in the dark (you know, so I don't bother him).

4:45AM - I start looking for my keys.

4:55AM - I wake Kevin up to ask him if he's seen my keys.

4:55.5AM - He asks if they're on the kitchen table. I say that's the first place I looked.

4:50AM - I start stomping around the house and making aggravated noises.

4:51AM - Kevin gets out of bed and finds my keys on the kitchen table. I accuse him of planting them there just to make an ass out of me. He totally would too.

4:52-5:05 - I load the car with diaper bags, lunches and kids.

5:15 - I stop at Tim Horton's. Obvs! It's 5:15 *EH AM* and I'm Canadian.

5:30 - Arrive at the babysitters. You all know that story! 

5:45AM - 2:30PM - Get berated and walked all over.

2:45PM - Arrive at babysitters and immediately start making empty promises to get my kids in the car.

3:05PM - Arrive at home and feel the wrath of my empty promises.

3:05PM - 8PM - Laundry, cleaning, cooking, ICarly watching, eating, baths.

Just kidding! Anyone who works full-time, with 2 toddlers who says they do all that is lying. Or a robot. Probably a robot.

8PM - 8:30PM - Convince Sawyer there's nothing to be afraid of in his room, and disappoint him repeatedly by telling him he can't sleep in Mommy and Daddy's room. That is apparently, the absolute worst news you can give a 2 year old.

8:30PM - Shower.

9PM - Sit down and spend some time with Kevin, because I like to run off at the mouth and say things like, "Without the love Kevin and I formed in the beginning, we wouldn't even have kids. So I feel like one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids is to take care of that relationship." And then people are all "Awww that's so true!" So I feel obligated to back it up by sitting in the same room as him while watching assorted forensic investigation shows <3. You're welcome kids!

10:30/11:00 - Stumble around the house just praying that I end up in bed before I fall asleep.


Now I want you to know that I'm not telling you this as an excuse for why I blog so infrequently. I'm telling you this for the pity and sympathy. Let me have. I mean really lay it on thick.

And use words like 'unbelievable', 'incredible' and 'sassy'

Thanks!